Zeldavania: Why It Can Never Be
by RawkHawk2.0
Summary: Though both villains hold the title of Dark Lord, the heroes that fight them are most certainly not interchangeable.


**Just a nice little humor piece I wrote. It came from a random thought I had about if Richter fought Ganondorf, and, well… This was the result. Enjoy!**

o0o

Atop the massive castle, the dark sky filled with clouds, the Dark Lord sat waiting, the princess trapped above him. He played his organ calmly, even as the door opened behind him. The back of his hand slowly began to glow, and a slight smirk crossed his face. "The Triforce parts are resonating… They are combining into-" He could not finish his sentence, however, as he was interrupted by an exclamation that echoed through the room.

"Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!" A young man in bright blue clothing, wielding a chain whip, stood ready at the door, pointing dramatically at Ganondorf.

"…You are not the Hero of Time. Who are you, you fool?" The Dark Lord looked over the man quizzically. He had never seen him before, but clearly that had been a mistake. Even if he were not as powerful as the Hero of Time, he had still managed to make it through the tower. He was undoubtedly a threat.

The man smirked slightly. "I am Richter Belmont, wielder of the legendary Vampire Killer whip and the bane of your existence! For you steal men's souls, and make them your slaves!"

Ganondorf scowled at the rather irritating man. "Enough talk. Let us begin." He stood up, ready to battle, when suddenly Richter pulled a glass bottle from his pocket and held it in the air. "Heh, a glass bottle? Do you truly believe that will do anything against me?"

Water began to fall from the ceiling, slowly at first, but rapidly increasing in intensity. Richter grinned and yelled to the heavens, "HYDRO STORM!"

Ganondorf paused briefly and held a hand out, examining the water. "…Is this intended to be humorous?"

Richter frowned. "Er… No?" He charged forward and swung the whip menacingly, only for it to bounce harmlessly off of the Dark Lord's armor. "…Oh dear."

"It would appear you were ill-prepared for this battle." Ganondorf sighed and patted Richter on the head condescendingly. "Do try again another time." He then flicked him in the forehead, sending him flying from the tower. "Imbecile…"

o0o

The door to the throne room of the monstrous Castlevania opened slowly. The Dark Lord took a sip from his glass, waiting for the threat that would no doubt come. He sat in silence for several moments. Odd, he thought, that the Belmont would not make a remark. "This long slumber has granted me strength…" Still no response. He looked somewhat exasperatedly at the door, only to see a young man in bright green with a sword and shield strapped to his back.

"…I see. Most unexpected that one who is not a Belmont could make it through my castle. I commend your power." Yet more silence. "…But enough talk. Have at you!" Dracula stood menacingly and teleported behind the man, throwing several large, flaming balls of dark energy toward him. Curiously, the man pulled a glass bottle from his pocket and swung at one of the balls with it, only to be hit in the chest and sent flying into a wall.

"I fail to see how the usage of such a mundane instrument could possibly have made sense to you. Humanity continues to astound me with its foolishness." He warped again and threw five smaller fireballs from his cape. This time, the young man blocked it with his shield, only to immediately negate any impression of intelligence by pulling, of all things, a fishing rod from his bag.

Dracula paused, unsure of how to react. "…I would appear to have overestimated you, young man. You are certainly no Belmont." He brushed off his cape and threw one last fireball at the man, sending him flying out a window. A small blue ball of light quickly followed him, yelling out the word "link" in a rather irritating voice.

Sighing and shaking his head tiredly, Dracula sat back down and took another sip from his cup. "Why must I always deal with such trivialities…?"


End file.
